Sunday, 19 December 2010

Letter from Monkey

Back in September, we had a visit from our old friends Monkey and Murray, and I talked about their island adventures on this blog:

Lazy Hazy Crazy Days (7th Sept 2010)

Well, on Friday I received a letter with an Edinburgh postmark, and it turned out to be from Monkey. The boys send us the occasional multimedia message but they are not the best correspondents, so it was a lovely surprise. In Edinburgh, Monkey hangs out with another friend of ours, Tom Pringle, a.k.a Dr.Bunhead; and in fact, for reasons which will become clear if you read on, Monkey had asked Tom if it was OK to type the letter on his computer.

Before publishing it on the blog, I thought I should ask Tom to check with the boys if that was OK, and yesterday he replied that Monkey and Murray "would be very proud of themselves if they managed to get back onto your blog again. They haven't stopped talking about the big island and how famous author Mike who writes books because he is an author which is why he is famous, wrote about them on his blog…"

So. Here is Monkey's letter in full:-

Dear Lynn & Mike,

We, that’s me and Murray that is, wanted to say thank you very really much for all our ventures on your big island.  I tried to text you on Jess’ phone cos I have opposable thambs and Murray only has stumpy paw things.  But anyway it did not work cos the buttons were too small and I could only write like gdftwb **~jh all the time.  So anyway, what I did was use Tom’s computer and that was OK but I got arm ache but I’m better now. 

After we did ventures on your big island we decided we should do ventures everywhere so I decided to borrow Jess’ car, but don’t tell her.  I showed Murray how to do climbing ventures and he was a bit scared but he come up, but did not go OOH OOH OOH.  He just did twitchy things on his nose and made little EEK EEK sounds. 

So after that we went to a video shop and got a DVD of a man called Bruce. He did a film called “Enter the Dragon” and we like dragons raaaar!!  Anyway there was not any dragons in it but they did really cool ventures kicking and bashing people.  So we decided we would do that – it is called Kung Fu and you are only allowed to use it in self defense, not to make anyone give you peanuts or lettuce (if you’re a black belt rabbit). 

This is me bashing Murray in the face and it is very funny cos I won and he didn’t.  I can now chop things like pencils and one day I will do whole big bits of wood.  Murray is still trying to chop lettuce.  HIYA!! Like that, but it doesn’t work. 

After being on Kung Fu ventures we decided to become polar explorers.  But I looked up the North Pole and it is too far to go in a small car because the petrol tank has to get filled up and they do not have garages when it is in countries with only snow everywhere like the North Pole.

So we had to do planning your route and choose emergency rations.  We only had chocolate limes to choose from so decided to take them.  I hoped there was not an emergency because they did not taste like peanuts but Murray thought they might be OK cos they were lettuce colour. 

When we went to Dartmoor we met a new animal.  He is called Dartmoor Pony.  He is called Dartmoor Pony because he lives on Dartmoor and is not a horse.  Then we saw a big red flag and went to visit it.  It said it was a firing range but nobody got fired.  We found some poo and did not know if it was proper debris that was military. Anyway it did not explode and Dartmoor was cold so we went home.  But first we had to have an emergency cuddle to stay warm, because we are not gay or anything like that, but it was a proper emergency explorer hug for survival only.  You cannot use these in Tesco or places like that.

Anyway we did a lot of ventures and now Murray is bored so he wants to do all arty farty but I said you have to go to London to do arty farty and so he has gone and so that is why I am writing to tell you because I don’t have anyone to play with and you are almost as much fun as a rabbit.

Monkey (and Murray who is in London so I am writing for him, bye)

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